Grumpy Old Dan Smith

Without mentioning their names, you know who these people are. They are the folks who keep popping up in our culture and continue to annoy most of us. The politician who is desperately trying to stay in power by blaming space aliens for setting forest fires. The rap star turned antisemite film critic. Those women with large breasts who spend their time showing off their large breasts—not that there’s anything wrong with that. My question for these folks is why. How much money and attention do you need? Relax. Sit […]

This is self-appointed editorial director Dan Smith and here’s what makes me grumpy: Passwords. Be honest: how many times do you hit the “forget your password” link.  I’m a frequent forgetter. Each time I forget I promise myself that I will write the new password down and file it somewhere and each time I lose the piece of paper with the new password and I’m back to “forget your password?” These password people must be busy. The day will come when passwords will go the way of video tape, land […]

This is WLHA’s self-appointed, editorial director Grumpy Old Dan Smith and here’s what makes me grumpy: Our never-ending election cycle. It seems that during the last election, the next one started before the closing credits. Really? Maybe these people who announce their intentions early just need something to do. Anything. I have a to-do list of household projects that I would have to live to be 185 years old to accomplish. Until I make a dent in that list I’m not running for elective office. Here’s an idea. Let’s have […]

What’s the metaverse? As far as I can tell it’s a made-up word that pretty much means whatever you want it to mean. No one really knows what the metaverse is but that doesn’t stop budding entrepreneurs from trying to make money on it. Maybe you’re seen people wear those virtual reality headsets so they can pretend they’re dating Scarlett Johansson. Someone probably is dating Scarlett but it’s certainly not a guy in the metaverse. We live in the universe complete with water, land, global warming, Covid, and stupid people […]

We used to see yard signs pop up at election time like mushrooms on a dewy lawn but now we see them all the time anytime of year. Has your mind ever been changed by a yard sign? I’m guessing no. Sure you slow down because the sign says children are playing. You may even attend a neighborhood picnic or some other civic event. Fortunately, there are yard sign creators that make you chuckle. Here are some I swear on my Google password are true. “Grandpa finally died yard sale.” […]

This is WLHA’s self-appointed editorial director Grumpy Old Dan Smith and here’s what makes me grumpy. Billionaires in space. Will someone explain to me why a couple of guys with more disposable income than the GDP of the European Union need to spend ten minutes in space? These guys really believe there’s a market for space tourism. Have you seen any pictures of Mars? Not a single Tiki bar or water slide. The temperature averages a rather chilly minus 80 degrees and can dip down to minus 195 degrees in […]

Remember the good old days when you went into a store with a pocket full of bit coins and bought something? Pretty simple…here’s my money, give me my stuff and maybe I’ll see you soon. Today you don’t just buy stuff, you subscribe to it. We subscribe to the stuff we watch on TV, maybe a newspaper or a magazine or a particular service like lawn care. But now the subscription model is showing up in unlikely places. In the past week I received offers from a pain patch company […]

Sex A study found that the pandemic caused a decrease in our sexual desire, pleasure, and frequency. It makes sense, sort of. Let’s look a bit deeper. Right before the pandemic nearly a quarter of Americans said they had no sex at all in the past year. None. Even young people, who owe it to their species to get busy, are more and more likely to be sexually inactive. Scholars, and you know who you are, suggest many reasons for this decline: poisons in the environment, depression, and drug use. […]

Here’s what make me grumpy: emails—or more precisely emails that sound like your mother yelling at you. Since we can’t raise our voice in print, we are tempted to use things like italics, bold print, underlining and my favorite: multiple exclamation points to underscore what we’re trying to communicate. Here’s what this styling says to me: You must think I’m stupid and unless you put it in all caps, italicized and bolded I have better chance being the next Space X pilot than understanding your email. Do we really need […]

Refrigerators Here’s what makes me grumpy: my refrigerator. It’s not so much the machine itself…it’s the relationship. We see each other frequently as I punch yet another hole in my belt. I understand why we need these things—hauling ice from the river wasn’t working out.  Any cultural anthropologist can tell you a lot about yourself just by looking in your Fridge. Are you organized, where every vegetable has a place? Or are you a train wreck like me where every item is on its own—eggs balanced on left over chicken […]