Grumpy Old Dan Smith

Try this nose mask to amuse people (except my wife, who thinks I’ll get arrested). Just shove a rag in your mouth and you should be as safe as a vice-president at a photo-op.

I’m WLHA’s self-appointed editorial director Grumpy Old Dan Smith and here’s what makes me grumpy: Quarantined celebrities. They were bad enough in the good old days but in the quarantined days they’re even more annoying. Do you really want to watch Justin Bieber romp around his house in a onesie? Or how a peek into Selena Gomez’s bathroom? Or maybe watch Pink cut her own hair while she’s drunk? This is the new normal? Don’t you long for the pre-Covid […]

I know you’re grumpy and I want to know how you got there. Why not share what makes you grump with the planet? Shoot us an email at wlharadio@gmail.com and we’ll either ignore it or cook something up and get it on the air Be sure to listen for Grumpy Old Dan Smith six times a day on WLHA, the Big 64…an internet radio station full of great music and malarkey.

What a dumb game. Golf was invented by the Scotts and given to the Irish as a joke. The Irish don’t think it’s funny—but they still play the silly game. Golf is a game you should play if you’re looking for humility. If you want perfection, look for another hobby. If you want the humiliation of hitting your ball in the water, the embarrassment of burying it in a sand trap or the shame of losing your life savings by […]

Glad to see Costco allows carts…they help people who otherwise could not shop there. Now how about the golf courses allowing carts? Otherwise I won’t be able to humiliate myself playing this stupid game.

Great news that the golf courses will open later next week here in Wisconsin. Those that decide these things should really consider golf carts as well. One of the great things about this stupid game is you can punish yourself well into your 80’s (as my friend John is doing here with the deer) if you can use a cart. I’ll take one good reason for not allowing carts. I may be able to do without a beer cart for […]

Here’s what makes me grumpy. People who know what’s good for you and you know exactly who I’m talking about. People who correct your language—like we were born knowing the difference between farther and further. People with unsolicited health information: “You need to add turmeric to your frosted flakes.” People who can fix your golf game: “Remember when putting, keep the ball close to the ground?” I have a theory that if we all did what we’ve been told throughout […]

On any other April 15th, the kitchen table would house piles of paper sorted in a way only one person on earth knows. Piles of forms, receipts and other documentation to prove to the federal government that we dutifully pay our taxes. On any other April 15th, I’d be grumpier than the president’s hair on a windy day (is that why he sometimes wears those goofy hats?). But not this April 15th as the government has extended the tax deadline […]

Online customer service has become as much of our lives as lawn care and parking—you know really important time-sucking stuff. But here’s what makes me grumpy. The recorded voice on the other end says, “While customer service is very important to us, all our operators are assisting other customers.” Translation? We’re too cheap to hire enough employees to do what we say we’re going to do. Why not come clean: “Hey sorry but we cant take your call for a […]

There was a time not that long ago when people actually talked on the telephone. When I was a kid the entire neighborhood would buzz if someone got a long distance phone call—so what if someone probably died—it was a big deal. Along came the answering machine and all of a sudden you didn’t have to talk to your mother right then and there. What a great invention. Today, robo calls drive people further and further away from talking on […]