We love rankings. We want to be better than you. We take pride when the we learn that Alabama is fatter than Wisconsin. We’re giddy that our beloved Lions lead the league is bad luck. And we love to learn that California is sicker than Colorado but not as sick as Washington. And how about Iowa: Ranked number one senior SAT scores and corn production. That’s a lot of smart farmers. Rankings are designed just to make us feel better. No matter where you rank, there’s always someone ranked lower than you and if you’re lucky enough you can proudly wave your Styrofoam—we’re number one—finger in the air just like an Iowa corn farmer. I’m Grumpy Old Dan Smith and you’re listening to your number one radio station for music and mayhem, WLHA, the Big 64.